Sean Johns

I never thought I'd say this, but I can't hide it any more, long johns are the fucking business! I've completely converted, any thought that was in my mind that these are an out-dated garment of times gone by has been blow out by the big chill. I had, not twelve months ago, gently and persistently ribbed ex-work colleagues for being old-fogies for wearing them during the cold spell earlier in the year. Yet, as I sit here as snug as the proverbial bug eating my humble pie I couldn't be happier.

Now I admit, I was reluctant to share this information too readily given the stigma that I myself had helped to maintain, but three things have happened that have made me confident enough to share and admitting is the first step, right? Hello my name is Pierce and I wear long johns, it's been eight days since I last went outside without wearing them...

The three things that led me to be open about my new-found love are as follows:

Firstly, I don't call them long johns anymore (aside for the purposes of this post). Initially is was calling them LJs. Which had the benefit that nobody knew what I was talking about, but it wasn't rocket science to figure it out. Now however I've started referring to them as my Sean Johns after the rapper...I'm going to go with 'Diddy's', though no doubt he's changed his name since I started writing this post, clothing line 'Sean John'. It's a stylish modern brand and therefore has some fashion clout and I'm jumping on the brand-wagon. And I like to think Diddy himself would approve...

Secondly, I was at a party recently and it was a small group of people, few of whom I knew especially well and naturally conversation at one point shifted to the big chill. So I decided this was a perfect opportunity to test the waters as regards the reaction I could expect to Sean Johns, and revealed to the room, literally by lifting up my trouser leg, that I had converted. As I waited for the reaction the most wonderful thing happened, a guy to my right who was arguably the biggest 'hipster' in the room, complete with tie, waistcoat and dubious ironic hat, also lifted his trouser leg and said 'snap'.

And thirdly, practically they are phenomenal. I love them. As others around me shiver and shake with the cold I laugh a toasty warm laugh! They're brilliant and I cannot extol their brilliance enough and knew that I should no longer have this secret but share the knowledge with you all. 

Get a pair, you'll never go out in the cold again without them!

I Gave You All…Of My Apathy

‘If only I had an enemy bigger than my apathy I could have won’. So sings Marcus Mumford of English folk rockers Mumford and Sons. The line, from the song ‘I Gave You All’, speaks to a lot of people and I would include myself in that bracket. Apathy is not a badge I wear with pride, neither is it something I'm ashamed of, but it is definitely something I believe, or a least society tells me, I should overcome. 

I enjoy wordplay, have done for as long as I can remember, and often inflict it on friends and family in the form of dubious puns. So in this instance I'm viewing myself as either 'Apathetic Man' or 'A Pathetic Man'. 

My natural inclination is to opt for 'Apathetic Man', primarily because it is the less offensive option, but also because it sounds like an evolutionary stage. 'Apethetic Man': ended evolutionary progress when he decided that he wasn't bothered if his meat was cooked or not. Hmmm, although I am often unpreturbed by my apathetic outlook I don't really want to be an evolutionary full stop.'Apathetic Man' also sounds a little bit like a comic book hero, albeit not one whose name suggests he'd be the first port of call in an emergency.

So if I'm going to stick to my apathy guns that leaves me the option of being 'A Pathetic Man'. Am I pathetic because I don't care that strongly about things? Pathetic might be a bit strong, but it's certainly not ideal that I'm regularly unenthused by things. A friend once expressed a concern that I seemed to lack 'Joie de Vivre' (Incidentally I always believed it was 'Joie de Vie' or 'joy of life' though Wikipedia informs me that this is a corruption on the original idea of 'joy of living') and I admit that from time to time this does concern me. Yet I still struggle to see the need to go on the offensive everytime I am wronged.

Should apathy be viewed as an enemy as Mr. Mumford suggests? Certainly apathy can lead to stagnation and hinder progress, but it also undoubtedly prevents confrontation and destruction. Apathy in and of itself is not dangerous, this is only when it is applied in the face of danger or evil. Bodie Theone described apathy as 'the glove into which evil slips its hand'.

There are several inches of snow on the ground outside and sub-zero temperatures, surely sometimes there's a need for gloves...