I was feeling down recently so I decided to write a list of things that happen in my day-to-day life that make me happy/smile, the little victories as it were. So here it is in no particular order:
1. The fact that the volume control on videos and audio on the BBC website goes to 11:
My assumption is that this is not some bizarre coincidence and is of course a reference to Spinal Tap. If it were a coincidence or there was some mundane reason for it , it would definitely take from it a bit (I started to Google it, but decided against it), but I'd still choose to believe that it was a mischievous developer with a quirky sense of humour.
2. Throwing things into other things:
Usually paper into a bin or socks into the laundry basket, but in reality anything goes. The more difficult the shot the better. I was trying to decide if the 'swish' was the best entry method or whether a shot that goes around the rim of the object then drops is better because there's the moment of uncertainty before the 'glory'! And then there's the shot that looks destined to miss but hits another object and defies the odds to reach it's destination. In reality they're all good.
3. Judging quantities of pasta or rice to perfection:
Sure you could measure it in something and be pretty confident of getting it right, but that doesn't compare to free handing it and, in the case of pasta, making the exact amount that satisfies your hunger or, in the case of rice, making just the right amount so that it corresponds to the amount of food you're eating it with. I hate waste so overestimating rice quantities annoys me, as does eating plain rice! And there's nothing more annoying than making too little pasta when you could have just shaken the packet that one more time when it was over the pot. But on those days when you get it 'porridge-of-baby-bear' right, dammit if it doesn't make you feel like the meal tasted better...
4. Timing something to perfection:
Now this has too many examples to list but includes the likes of (i) arriving at exactly the same time as the person you've arranged to meet at a given destination, (ii) going to check on something cooking in the oven and arriving at the oven just as the timer goes off, or (iii) flicking the TV on just as the show you wanted to watch starts or the radio and a song you like comes on.
5. Having the exact change:
This doesn't necessarily have to be for the bus, although that is always good. Any instance where you're worried you won't have enough cash and will have to either pay by card or go to an ATM. It's always embarrassing if you count out change or notes only to realise you're still short and that you've held up the queue unnecessarily. Obviously if you know you have enough cash to cover the cost this doesn't happen, but on those occasions when you know it's going to be tight, that relief gives a good buzz.
Bit of a random post I know, but if any of you that are having a bad day or more importantly a few bad days, I urge you to make your own list. Thinking about your own little victories might just bring a smile to your face.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Scriptwriting Practice 101
ACT ONE
FADE IN:
INT. PIERCE STEVENS' BEDROOM - DAY
The room is Victorian style with high ceilings and wooden shutters on the windows. The bedroom is a converted dining room. There is an old bar mirror perched on the mantelpiece above the table with 'Guinness Extra Stout' printed on it. Reflected in the mirror is a spherical paper lampshade. Despite being daytime the room is lacking natural light and so the light is on. Below the mantelpiece in front of a disused fireplace a man sits at a table that has a laptop and papers strewn across it. His name is PIERCE STEVENS. PIERCE has a mobile phone held to the side of his head.
PIERCE
(listens)
Yea, I'd definitely be interested.
There's on knock on the main house door. PIERCE turns his head towards the bedroom door and then back to the laptop.
PIERCE (CONT'D)
Sorry, Fred can I call you back?
Someones at the door.
(listens)
Okay I'll talk to you then.
PIERCE hangs up and rises from his seat and opens the bedroom door before exiting into a hallway. He passes a coat stand and bicycles that are in the hallway. Upon reaching the door he peers through keyhole. There is someone at the door, but off to one side so there is no clear view of who it is. PIERCE twists the latch on the door and opens it about a small amount. He keeps his left foot tight against the door on the inside.
PIERCE
Hi, can I help you?
An elderly WOMAN comes into view. She has a bundle of leaflets in her hand and a badge on her jacket.
WOMAN
(enthusiastically)
(enthusiastically)
Hello, I'm canvassing on behalf of
Chris Andrews.
EXT. PIERCE STEVENS' FRONT DOOR - CONTINUOUS
Camera is now behind WOMAN and looking at PIERCE through the partially open door which he gradually opens more. PIERCE'S expression is between annoyance and anger.
WOMAN (CONT'D)
Chris has done a lot of work in the
area and he'll continue to do so if
he's reelected.
INT. PIERCE STEVENS' HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS
Camera is back behind PIERCE'S back. The WOMAN hands him a flyer which he takes. He looks at the flyer which has a picture of a middle-aged man at the top and text below. Still looking at the flyer.
PIERCE
Look there's no chance I'm going to -
PIERCE looks up at the WOMAN.
WOMAN
(interrupts)
Anyway there's more information on
the website. He's a really great
candidate, but sure I would say that
I'm his mother.
The WOMAN smiles.
WOMAN (CONT'D)
Thanks for your time.
The WOMAN walks away from the doorstep.
PIERCE
(quietly)
Eh, yea, don't mention it.
PIERCE closes the door and begins to walk back towards the bedroom.
PIERCE
Why is it always their bloody mothers?
PIERCE crumples up the flyer and throws it at a waste paper bin. The flyer misses the bin and begins to unfurl on the carpet, once again revealing the face of the candidate.
END ACT ONE
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Return of the Mac
It was brought to my attention that it's been a while since I posted. It was actually something I was aware of anyway, the collection of half finished posts are testament to that. My dilemma is that I'm dealing with some personal stuff at the moment and I didn't want to:
A. Clog the blog (nice ring to it) with a load of half-baked emotional jibberish which is probably all that would have spewed forth had I started writing.
However, the more I thought about it the more I realised that I really should make a return, Mark Morrison style:
Okay so a few things dawned on me after I added the video for that song. Firstly, I'd forgotten how hilarious the video is, you just gotta love the 90s. Secondly, aside from the fact that 'The Mac' is returning, as he so clearly expresses, I had never really paid that much attention to the rest of the lyrics but I probably should have, given what I've said above. I'm guessing more could be read into my posting it than I intended, but genuinely in my head all I had was memories of my eleven-year-old self being alerted to the fact that 'The Mac' had returned, despite being unaware that he had left in the first place, and that this song would forever be associated with comebacks.
The other reason I wanted to use it was because I always think of it in the same bracket as another 90s gem:
Now while this song is a 'classic' in it's own right, what really earned it a special place in my heart was the Wikipedia synopsis (now removed) which accompanied the entry on the site. As I say this entry is unfortunately no longer available, but luckily enough other people enjoyed it as much as I did and I was able to track down the text. So I've posted it below for you all to enjoy. And to whomever composed it, thank you for making the world a little funnier.
P.S. It's good to be back.
Warren G Regulate Synopsis:
On a cool, clear night (typical to Southern California) Warren G travels through his neighborhood, searching for women with whom he might initiate sexual intercourse. He has chosen to engage in this pursuit alone.
Nate Dogg, having just arrived in Long Beach, seeks Warren. On his way to find Warren, Nate passes a car full of women who are excited to see him. Regardless, he insists to the women that there is no cause for excitement.
Warren makes a left turn at 21st Street and Lewis Ave, where he sees a group of young men enjoying a game of dice together. He parks his car and greets them. He is excited to find people to play with, but to his chagrin, he discovers they intend to relieve him of his material possessions. Once the hopeful robbers reveal their firearms, Warren realizes he is in a less than favorable predicament.
Meanwhile, Nate passes the women, as they are low on his list of priorities. His primary concern is locating Warren. After curtly casting away the strumpets (whose interest in Nate was such that they crashed their automobile), he serendipitously stumbles upon his friend, Warren G, being held up by the young miscreants.
Warren, unaware that Nate is surreptitiously observing the scene unfold, is in disbelief that he’s being robbed. The perpetrators have taken jewelry and a name brand designer watch from Warren, who is so incredulous that he asks what else the robbers intend to steal. This is most likely a rhetorical question.
Observing these unfortunate proceedings, Nate realizes that he may have to use his firearm to deliver his friend from harm.
The tension crescendos as the robbers point their guns to Warren’s head. Warren senses the gravity of his situation. He cannot believe the events unfolding could happen in his own neighborhood. As he imagines himself in a fantastical escape, he catches a glimpse of his friend, Nate.
Nate has seventeen cartridges to expend (sixteen residing in the pistol’s magazine, with a solitary round placed in the chamber and ready to be fired) on the group of robbers, and he uses many of them. Afterward, he generously shares the credit for neutralizing the situation with Warren, though it is clear that Nate did all of the difficult work. Putting congratulations aside, Nate quickly reminds himself that he has committed multiple homicides to save Warren before letting his friend know that there are females nearby if he wishes to fornicate with them.
Warren recalls that it was the promise of copulation that coaxed him away from his previous activities, and is thankful that Nate knows a way to satisfy these urges.
Nate quickly finds the women who earlier crashed their car on Nate’s account. He remarks to one that he is fond of her physical appeal. The woman, impressed by Nate’s singing ability, asks that he and Warren allow her and her friends to share transportation. Soon, both friends are driving with automobiles full of women to the East Side Motel, presumably to consummate their flirtation in an orgy.
The third verse is more expository, with Warren and Nate explaining their G Funk musical style. Nate displays his bravado by claiming that individuals with equivalent knowledge could not even attempt to approach his level of lyrical mastery. He also notes that if any third party smokes as he does, they would find themselves in a state of intoxication daily (from Nate’s other works, it can be inferred that the substance referenced is marijuana). Nate concludes his delineation of the night by issuing a vague threat to “busters,” suggesting that he and Warren will further “regulate” any potential incidents in the future (presumably by engaging their enemies with small arms fire).
A. Clog the blog (nice ring to it) with a load of half-baked emotional jibberish which is probably all that would have spewed forth had I started writing.
B. Write about idle nonsense as I often do, because it seemed disingenuous given what is going on in my life.
However, the more I thought about it the more I realised that I really should make a return, Mark Morrison style:
Okay so a few things dawned on me after I added the video for that song. Firstly, I'd forgotten how hilarious the video is, you just gotta love the 90s. Secondly, aside from the fact that 'The Mac' is returning, as he so clearly expresses, I had never really paid that much attention to the rest of the lyrics but I probably should have, given what I've said above. I'm guessing more could be read into my posting it than I intended, but genuinely in my head all I had was memories of my eleven-year-old self being alerted to the fact that 'The Mac' had returned, despite being unaware that he had left in the first place, and that this song would forever be associated with comebacks.
The other reason I wanted to use it was because I always think of it in the same bracket as another 90s gem:
Now while this song is a 'classic' in it's own right, what really earned it a special place in my heart was the Wikipedia synopsis (now removed) which accompanied the entry on the site. As I say this entry is unfortunately no longer available, but luckily enough other people enjoyed it as much as I did and I was able to track down the text. So I've posted it below for you all to enjoy. And to whomever composed it, thank you for making the world a little funnier.
P.S. It's good to be back.
Warren G Regulate Synopsis:
On a cool, clear night (typical to Southern California) Warren G travels through his neighborhood, searching for women with whom he might initiate sexual intercourse. He has chosen to engage in this pursuit alone.
Nate Dogg, having just arrived in Long Beach, seeks Warren. On his way to find Warren, Nate passes a car full of women who are excited to see him. Regardless, he insists to the women that there is no cause for excitement.
Warren makes a left turn at 21st Street and Lewis Ave, where he sees a group of young men enjoying a game of dice together. He parks his car and greets them. He is excited to find people to play with, but to his chagrin, he discovers they intend to relieve him of his material possessions. Once the hopeful robbers reveal their firearms, Warren realizes he is in a less than favorable predicament.
Meanwhile, Nate passes the women, as they are low on his list of priorities. His primary concern is locating Warren. After curtly casting away the strumpets (whose interest in Nate was such that they crashed their automobile), he serendipitously stumbles upon his friend, Warren G, being held up by the young miscreants.
Warren, unaware that Nate is surreptitiously observing the scene unfold, is in disbelief that he’s being robbed. The perpetrators have taken jewelry and a name brand designer watch from Warren, who is so incredulous that he asks what else the robbers intend to steal. This is most likely a rhetorical question.
Observing these unfortunate proceedings, Nate realizes that he may have to use his firearm to deliver his friend from harm.
The tension crescendos as the robbers point their guns to Warren’s head. Warren senses the gravity of his situation. He cannot believe the events unfolding could happen in his own neighborhood. As he imagines himself in a fantastical escape, he catches a glimpse of his friend, Nate.
Nate has seventeen cartridges to expend (sixteen residing in the pistol’s magazine, with a solitary round placed in the chamber and ready to be fired) on the group of robbers, and he uses many of them. Afterward, he generously shares the credit for neutralizing the situation with Warren, though it is clear that Nate did all of the difficult work. Putting congratulations aside, Nate quickly reminds himself that he has committed multiple homicides to save Warren before letting his friend know that there are females nearby if he wishes to fornicate with them.
Warren recalls that it was the promise of copulation that coaxed him away from his previous activities, and is thankful that Nate knows a way to satisfy these urges.
Nate quickly finds the women who earlier crashed their car on Nate’s account. He remarks to one that he is fond of her physical appeal. The woman, impressed by Nate’s singing ability, asks that he and Warren allow her and her friends to share transportation. Soon, both friends are driving with automobiles full of women to the East Side Motel, presumably to consummate their flirtation in an orgy.
The third verse is more expository, with Warren and Nate explaining their G Funk musical style. Nate displays his bravado by claiming that individuals with equivalent knowledge could not even attempt to approach his level of lyrical mastery. He also notes that if any third party smokes as he does, they would find themselves in a state of intoxication daily (from Nate’s other works, it can be inferred that the substance referenced is marijuana). Nate concludes his delineation of the night by issuing a vague threat to “busters,” suggesting that he and Warren will further “regulate” any potential incidents in the future (presumably by engaging their enemies with small arms fire).
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