Return of the Mac

It was brought to my attention that it's been a while since I posted. It was actually something I was aware of anyway, the collection of half finished posts are testament to that. My dilemma is that I'm dealing with some personal stuff at the moment and I didn't want to:

A. Clog the blog (nice ring to it) with a load of half-baked emotional jibberish which is probably all that would have spewed forth had I started writing.

B. Write about idle nonsense as I often do, because it seemed disingenuous given what is going on in my life.

However, the more I thought about it the more I realised that I really should make a return, Mark Morrison style:

Okay so a few things dawned on me after I added the video for that song. Firstly, I'd forgotten how hilarious the video is, you just gotta love the 90s. Secondly, aside from the fact that 'The Mac' is returning, as he so clearly expresses, I had never really paid that much attention to the rest of the lyrics but I probably should have, given what I've said above. I'm guessing more could be read into my posting it than I intended, but genuinely in my head all I had was memories of my eleven-year-old self being alerted to the fact that 'The Mac' had returned, despite being unaware that he had left in the first place, and that this song would forever be associated with comebacks.

The other reason I wanted to use it was because I always think of it in the same bracket as another 90s gem:

Now while this song is a 'classic' in it's own right, what really earned it a special place in my heart was the Wikipedia synopsis (now removed) which accompanied the entry on the site. As I say this entry is unfortunately no longer available, but luckily enough other people enjoyed it as much as I did and I was able to track down the text. So I've posted it below for you all to enjoy. And to whomever composed it, thank you for making the world a little funnier.

P.S. It's good to be back.


Warren G Regulate Synopsis:


On a cool, clear night (typical to Southern California) Warren G travels through his neighborhood, searching for women with whom he might initiate sexual intercourse. He has chosen to engage in this pursuit alone.

Nate Dogg, having just arrived in Long Beach, seeks Warren. On his way to find Warren, Nate passes a car full of women who are excited to see him. Regardless, he insists to the women that there is no cause for excitement.

Warren makes a left turn at 21st Street and Lewis Ave, where he sees a group of young men enjoying a game of dice together. He parks his car and greets them. He is excited to find people to play with, but to his chagrin, he discovers they intend to relieve him of his material possessions. Once the hopeful robbers reveal their firearms, Warren realizes he is in a less than favorable predicament.

Meanwhile, Nate passes the women, as they are low on his list of priorities. His primary concern is locating Warren. After curtly casting away the strumpets (whose interest in Nate was such that they crashed their automobile), he serendipitously stumbles upon his friend, Warren G, being held up by the young miscreants.

Warren, unaware that Nate is surreptitiously observing the scene unfold, is in disbelief that he’s being robbed. The perpetrators have taken jewelry and a name brand designer watch from Warren, who is so incredulous that he asks what else the robbers intend to steal. This is most likely a rhetorical question.

Observing these unfortunate proceedings, Nate realizes that he may have to use his firearm to deliver his friend from harm.

The tension crescendos as the robbers point their guns to Warren’s head. Warren senses the gravity of his situation. He cannot believe the events unfolding could happen in his own neighborhood. As he imagines himself in a fantastical escape, he catches a glimpse of his friend, Nate.

Nate has seventeen cartridges to expend (sixteen residing in the pistol’s magazine, with a solitary round placed in the chamber and ready to be fired) on the group of robbers, and he uses many of them. Afterward, he generously shares the credit for neutralizing the situation with Warren, though it is clear that Nate did all of the difficult work. Putting congratulations aside, Nate quickly reminds himself that he has committed multiple homicides to save Warren before letting his friend know that there are females nearby if he wishes to fornicate with them.

Warren recalls that it was the promise of copulation that coaxed him away from his previous activities, and is thankful that Nate knows a way to satisfy these urges.

Nate quickly finds the women who earlier crashed their car on Nate’s account. He remarks to one that he is fond of her physical appeal. The woman, impressed by Nate’s singing ability, asks that he and Warren allow her and her friends to share transportation. Soon, both friends are driving with automobiles full of women to the East Side Motel, presumably to consummate their flirtation in an orgy.

The third verse is more expository, with Warren and Nate explaining their G Funk musical style. Nate displays his bravado by claiming that individuals with equivalent knowledge could not even attempt to approach his level of lyrical mastery. He also notes that if any third party smokes as he does, they would find themselves in a state of intoxication daily (from Nate’s other works, it can be inferred that the substance referenced is marijuana). Nate concludes his delineation of the night by issuing a vague threat to “busters,” suggesting that he and Warren will further “regulate” any potential incidents in the future (presumably by engaging their enemies with small arms fire).